I’m working on some Maya scenes to add to my animation reel. Here’s the beginning of it. The lighting of course will be better and the knights will be superimposed on the blue screen but I’m happy with it. What do you think?
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and 1 by 1 began to tell their
stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a
pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over
enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and
a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then
her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She
shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
“Good Heavens” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”
“Stay the Fuck away from Aunt Karen when she’s drinking.”
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around
the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a
really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one
Saturday night.
One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.
Two o’clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering
the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a
glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”
He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.”
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
“Now take off my skirt.”
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told
and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town
again, you’re fired.”
(P.S. - Yeah, I didn’t see it coming, either)
Here’s a pic of another of my relatives, I beleive this was my great grand uncle Archie Tanguay.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads
her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’
Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘For reading a book,’ she replies.
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her again..
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with Sexual assault,’ says the
woman.
‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the game warden..
‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.’
‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.
Hey anyone!
Chowder Season Two premieres this Monday! The new episodes are really funny and I worked on them too! There will be a new episode every night at 8PM and it’s one of the best shows I have ever worked on so please check it out or tell your kids about it. You can also check out creator C.H Greenblatt’s blog for more details!
A list of episodes I directed are as follows:
Men Are Just Happier People–
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President..
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck..
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Both Maxwell Atoms, creator of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Mr. Warburton, creator of Codename Kids Next Door, CH Greenblatt (my boss) creator of Chowder graciously donated awesome art for a animation charity auction to help raise money for the Team in Training triathlon. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) is the world’s largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research and providing education and patient services. If you’re a fan of any of these shows it would be worth checking out the auction. My grandfather died of Cancer and I’m sure every one of you out there has been hurt in some way by this terrible disease. If you can’t get the art but can donate a little to help Joanne reach her goal, that would be greatly appreciated as well.
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…..
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ……..
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